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| Brother gets own bedroom. |
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| SNAFU: V.I.P. G.I. M.I.A. |
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| Another Hanks, Ryan outing? |
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| Needle survives. Haystack doesn't. |
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| Family grocery bill falls. |
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| Spielberg's beach: shells found! |
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| Adhesive socks immobilize tanks. |
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| Many other privates unsaved. |
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| Hanks' tanks: tryin' Ryan. |
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| Military hunting good will. |
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| Tank rings sniper's bell. |
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| Teacher leads motley platoon. |
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| Family's flag collection grows. |
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| Sleepless and sea battle. |
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| Normandy beach. Private parts. |
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| Americans sprayed by shore. |
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| Hanks flanks; banks tanks. |
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| Private's saved, privates lost. |
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| Ungrateful sod wont leave! |
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| Damon's privates cut off. |
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| Good Private Ryan Hunting. |
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| Everybody dies saving Ryan. |
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| Hanks protects his privates. |
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| Flashback remembered by corpse. |
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| Hanks' Yanks spank tanks. |
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| America searches for one. |
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| Damon becomes only child. |
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| Spielberg invades 'Longest Day'. |
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| Miller's Crossing- France. |
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| Brilliance battles with cliche. |
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| Saving Private Ryan's ass. |
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| Ten little Normandy Indians. |
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| Ryan saved, saviors killed. |
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| Private: FAO Captain Miller. |
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| Ryan rescue untruthfully told. |
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| Germans Peppered with bullets. |
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| Yanks lost getting Damon. |
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| Heroic Hanks shoots tanks. |
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| Panzer's gun assaults Pepper. |
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| Silblings cause expensive rescue. |
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| Findin' Ryan before dyin'. |
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| Spielberg's shakycam captures carnage. |
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| Stormin' Normandy; Private procurement. |
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| Ryan saved. Thanks, Hanks! |
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| Ryan survives, Miller dies. |
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| Sargent. Pepper's lowly heart. |
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| Hanks' corps becomes corpses. |
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| Hanks yanks Ryan's privates. |
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| Starts visceral, ends shmaltzy. |
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| Ryan saved; Hanks, buddy! |
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| Matt's flap suddenly flat. |
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| Damon's bulge battle lost. |
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| Spielberg directs Gerry carnage. |
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| Ryan gets survivor guilt. |
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| Hanks attempts third Oscar. |
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| Harrowing realism reinforces anti-warriors. |
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