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| 'Bore-a! Bore-a! Bore-a!' |
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| Bruckheimer's 'Whora! Whora! Whora!'. |
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| American Bay gets Jap-panned. |
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| Beckinsale swaps sailor buddies. |
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| Dockers attacked by bombers. |
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| Japanese, movie both bomb. |
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| Hollow romantic crap + war. |
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| Afflicted Affleck broken Hartnetted. |
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| Hartnett: Hawaii, Ben: Dover. |
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| America belatedly enters WWII. |
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| Overly-complacent Americans devastated. |
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| Where's Jon Voight's chin? |
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| Kamikazes miss Affleck, unfortunately. |
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| Limp romance, hard attack. |
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| Titanic with war violence!! |
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| Bombing interrupts soap opera. |
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| Affleck 'dies', returns, marries. |
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| Bay's 'Harbor' is shallow. |
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| Bruckheimer rewrites American history. |
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| Rising Sun, sinking ships. |
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| Tora Tora...don't bother. |
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| American Bombing meets angst. |
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| Beckinsale bonks Ben's buddy. |
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| Hartnett get's the seconds! |
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| Michael Bay rewrites history. |
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| History twisted for movie. |
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| Becks nails boyfriend's buddy. |
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| Hollywood 'bombs' Pearl Harbour. |
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| Japs eye Yankee spanking. |
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| Affleck's career crashes, burns. |
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| Flag waving American propaganda. |
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| American navy's fleeting setback. |
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| Affleck can't accept loss. |
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| Sappy romance, Jappy bombs. |
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| Japanese hopeless, attack anyway! |
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| Japanese tourists spoil romance. |
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| Doolittle really did little. |
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| Childhood friends chase Beckinsale. |
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| Japanese versus love triangle. |
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| Hartnett impregnates stolen girl. |
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| The Harrbor...the Harrbor... |
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| Dentist becomes unwilling informer. |
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| Bay and Bruckheimer bomb! |
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| Ben has plane Afflecktion. |
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| Beckinsale sleeps through Harbor. |
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| Surprise attack, unsurprisingly trite. |
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| Bruckheimer, Bay, plumb depths. |
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| Pearl Harbour 'bombed' again. |
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| PC crime against history. |
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| Those sneaky Japs attack. |
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| Americans win sugary war. |
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| Josh (Hart)nets buddy's girl. |
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| Attack affects Affleck profoundly. |
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| Japanese strafe Rafe's position. |
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| Yank history, 'dumbed up!' |
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| Arizona, movie sink spectacularly. |
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| Pregnant nurse saves soldiers. |
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| Affleck's war movie bombs. |
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