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| Bruce battles big boulder. |
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| Paris clobbered, Americans cheer! |
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| Animal cracker foreplay? Ew. |
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| 12g's and still conscious? |
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| Likeable cheese! Buscemi rocks!!! |
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| Rock *just* misses Earth. |
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| Affleck's singing only highlight. |
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| Best thing: Aerosmith song. |
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| America saves world... again. |
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| Asteroid doesn't land- shame. |
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| Fuckwit rigger saves world. |
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| Spawned horrid Aerosmith song. |
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| Vest saves future generations. |
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| 'Deep Impact' with laughter. |
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| Meatheads meet meteor metier. |
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| Nuclear weapon finally helpful. |
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| Patriotic comedy- a disaster. |
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| Asteroid twats Paris, hurrah! |
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| Drill meteor, save planet. |
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| Earth threatened? Send yahoos! |
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| Made 'Superman' look realistic. |
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| Buscemi pastiches 'Strangelove' strangely. |
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| Meteor driller gets girl. |
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| Driller spacemen 'Wrong Stuff'. |
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| Asteroid misses Hollywood unfortunately. |
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| Sacrificing Bruce saves world. |
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| Billy battles, Bruce bombs. |
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| Easier training astronauts mining? |
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| Willis nukes himself, asteroid. |
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| Bruce destroys 'The Rock'. |
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| Bruce's boys kick asteroid. |
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| Aerosmith saves the movie. |
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| Willis finally die's hard. |
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| Asteroid dooms Tyler's career. |
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| Ben returns, Bruce doesn't. |
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| Braindead brawn beats bolide. |
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| Ridiculous riggers mine asteroid. |
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| Hotties blow up asteroid. |
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| Miners mean apocalypse averted. |
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| Eiffel does Pisa impression. |
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| Americans, Russian save world. |
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| Asteroid doesn't deep impact. |
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| Willis, Astronaut? Not believable. |
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| Rocks fall, Willis palls. |
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| Willis dies. Affleck lives. |
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| Buscemi nuts about lasers. |
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| Earth saved, physics doomed. |
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| Vacuous void ridiculously noisy. |
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| Asteroid, eardrums destroyed. |
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| Affleck dates boss' daughter. |
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| Buscemi humps nuclear weapon. |
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| Affleck drills Liv + asteroid. |
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| Buscemi gets 'Space Dementia'! |
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| Earths saviour is Willis. |
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| Asteroid, audience bored. |
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| 'Deep Impact' sans ennui. |
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| Willis sacrifices, Tyler grieves. |
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| Animal crackers are sexy. |
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| Ben and Liv Arma-get-it-on. |
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| Stuff explodes, Bruce dies. |
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| Billy limps through script. |
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| Boring beyond this world. |
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| Willis prevents meteor disaster. |
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| Doomsday delayed by miners. |
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| 'Deep Impact' with Aerosmith. |
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| Billy Bob's rocket scientist. |
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