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| Bruce flies, cries, dies. |
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| Bay's, Bruce's, Ben's blockbuster. |
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| Drillers' 'boring' asteroid film. |
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| Kiss your asteroid goodbye. |
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| Braindead brawn beats bolide. |
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| Astronauts dig for victory! |
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| Baldy blasts big boulder. |
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| Asteroid dooms Tyler's career. |
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| Shuttle speedometer causes laughter. |
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| Hotties blow up asteroid. |
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| Willis dies. Affleck lives. |
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| Tyler, Minor. Affleck, Miner. |
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| Oil riggers rig asteroid. |
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| Doomsday delayed by miners. |
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| Buscemi nuts about lasers. |
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| Buscemi gets 'Space Dementia'! |
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| Easier training astronauts mining? |
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| Emergency asteroid drill. |
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| Buscemi battles asteroid, insanity. |
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| Engineers tested for 'steroids. |
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| Affleck drills asteroid, Tyler. |
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| Willis prevents meteor disaster. |
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| Buscemi off his rock(er). |
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| Asteroid misses Hollywood unfortunately. |
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| Drillers become astronauts -- boom. |
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| Miners mean apocalypse averted. |
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| Drill meteor, save planet. |
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| Earth threatened? Send yahoos! |
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| Driller spacemen 'Wrong Stuff'. |
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| Fuckwit rigger saves world. |
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| Willis driller, comet killer. |
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| Asteroid splits; audience too. |
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| Earth savers? Tax-exempt! |
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| America saves world... again. |
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| Bruckheimer's Big Asteroid. |
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| Nuclear weapon finally helpful. |
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| Preventing the Great Depression. |
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| Boring machine outperforms Bruce. |
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| Asteroid wipes out Willis. |
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| Meatheads meet meteor metier. |
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| Owen Wilson, Ben stellar. |
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| Willis, Astronaut? Not believable. |
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| Bruce battles big boulder. |
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| Americans, Russian save world. |
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| 'Deep Impact' sans ennui. |
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| Ben returns, Bruce doesn't. |
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| Animal crackers are sexy. |
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| Asteroid, audience bored. |
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| Patriotic comedy- a disaster. |
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| Armageddon?Arma-had-enuf! |
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| Billy Bob's rocket scientist. |
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| 'Deep Impact' with Aerosmith. |
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| Asteroid doesn't land- shame. |
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| Willis sacrifices, Tyler grieves. |
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| Affleck drills Liv + asteroid. |
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| Sacrificing Bruce saves world. |
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| Meteor driller gets girl. |
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| Vest saves future generations. |
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| Affleck's singing only highlight. |
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| Willis, Comet: Close Shave. |
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| Wrinklies drill asteriod. |
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| Willis drills, flies, dies. |
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| 12g's and still conscious? |
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| Best thing: Aerosmith song. |
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