Bilbo riddles with Gollum.
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MelissaS (3254)
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Alan Smithee (3165)
31
clay (2765)
Reviews by 'Alan Smithee'
Current status of
Movie deity
with a total of
3165
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Grand Piano (2013)
Chazelle's musical opus minus.
Nov 28, 2015
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Excavating The 2000 Year Old Man (2012)
Guy 2K.
Jul 6, 2013
Unscored
Vote
Stoker (2013)
India Eerie.
Mar 6, 2013
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Maggie Simpson In The Longest Daycare (2012)
Butterfly/clip bamboozles baby.
Nov 14, 2012
Unscored
Vote
Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Bigelow's SEALS execute order.
Oct 10, 2012
Unscored
Vote
Skyfall (2012)
SilvaEye.
Jun 5, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Waz (2007)
Saw multiplied by Se7en.
May 30, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Ride To Freedom: The Rosa Parks Story (2002)
Rosa's seated argument.
Feb 21, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Love (2012)
Ruv Actuarry.
Feb 15, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Ordet (1955)
Johannes says magic word.
Feb 8, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives (2010)
Trannies cut up.
Jan 2, 2012
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Siege (1940)
Short siege proves noteworthy.
Dec 28, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Teddy The Rough Rider (1940)
Roose' and fall.
Dec 28, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)
Just' incredible!
Oct 16, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
5ive (2010)
The 5ive Commandments.
Oct 11, 2011
Unscored
Vote
2084 (2009)
Orwell plus century: viral.
Oct 11, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Moneyball (2011)
Billy Beane declares WAR.
Sep 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Contagion (2011)
Horny Paltrow fucks Chicago.
Sep 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Human Condition III: A Soldier's Prayer (1961)
Cagey Kaji's Manchurian trek.
Sep 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Human Condition II: Road To Eternity (1959)
Kaji's cagey Russian defection.
Sep 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Human Condition I: No Greater Love (1959)
Kaji in a cage.
Sep 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Monster (2008)
Estenberg rips off Cloverfield.
Sep 17, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Empire Of Dracula, The (1967)
Vampiress group lure dudes.
Sep 17, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Dus Kahaniyaan (2007)
Pooja bangs military man.
Sep 17, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Complete Idiot (2007)
Jaud dropping.
Sep 17, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Hollywood Comes To Shropshire (1996)
Salopian's beset; pretentious cunt.
Sep 10, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(9)
Farm, The (2009)
Hailey works California's Parchman.
Jul 7, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Disco Pigs (2001)
Hitting the dance-boar.
Jun 30, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Disco Pigs (2001)
Don't slop me now.
Jun 30, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Smurfs, The (2011)
This Smurf adaptation blue.
Jun 27, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Hangover Part II, The (2011)
Lady-boy butt-fucks bride-groom's a-hole.
Jun 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Unreal (2004)
Sloan's alone.
Jun 21, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Universe And I, The (2008)
Dealer's dame does dealer.
Jun 21, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Underdose (2007)
Grieving Helen's topping plan.
Jun 21, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Winesburg, Ohio (2008)
Winesburg culled from winos.
Jun 13, 2011
Unscored
Vote
River Made To Drown In (1997)
Thad hits up gallerian.
Jun 13, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Dilemma (1997)
Dilemma makes Trejo Howell.
Jun 13, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Arsebook Movie, The (2011)
Young is a Doosh.
Jun 13, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Franchise on borrowed tide.
Jun 12, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Grotesque (2009)
This killer really stinks.
Jun 10, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Scarecrow (2002)
Outstanding in his field.
Jun 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(4)
(Past Present Future) Imperfect (2004)
Devonian student's dusky surprise.
May 26, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Blue Demon Contra Cerebros Infernales (1968)
Wrestling hero battles zombies.
May 24, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Battle For Terra (2007)
Another War on Terra.
May 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Country Strong (2010)
More 'Country Weak', lol.
May 17, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Sucker Punch (2011)
'Punch' renders Babydoll unconscious.
May 2, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(5)
**** (1967)
How's ending? Check tomorrow.
Apr 19, 2011
Unscored
Vote
? (2005)
Nancy really blows up.
Apr 19, 2011
Unscored
Vote
You're So Cupid! (2010)
Sisters inherit dad's matchmaking.
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Young Americans (1967)
YA-ha!
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Young Bride (1932)
Youthful bride's a Seit'.
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Young Lovers, The (1954)
Young lovers, eaten Danish.
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Young Stranger, The (1957)
Self-defense ruins lad's life.
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Yongseoneun Eupda (2010)
Dismembered, remembered, ruined Korea.
Apr 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Gooby (2009)
Gooby is 'good bear'.
Apr 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Red State (2011)
Blue views Red state.
Mar 16, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Man With the Golden Arm (1955)
Drug, 'Dealer'.
Mar 12, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Buck (2011)
Buck's heart, tack.
Mar 11, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Time Machine, The (1960)
Taylor attacks Morlock homes.
Mar 10, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Queer camps, then dies.
Mar 9, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Sodomites on a hill.
Mar 9, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Fags in a tent.
Mar 7, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Breaking The Surface: The Greg Louganis Story (1997)
Louganis gets loose anus.
Mar 1, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Griff The Invisible (2010)
Kick Arse.
Feb 24, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Book Of Eli, The (2010)
Blindey bears Braille Bible.
Feb 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Drunken Acrobat, The (1896)
Tightrope Walker�.
Feb 18, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)
IV-ce Age.
Feb 8, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Drillbit Taylor (2008)
Tool fool for school.
Feb 7, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Jewish Life In Vilna (1939)
Jews call, Vilnaaa!
Jan 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Jewish Life In Lwow (1939)
Jews say (L)wow!
Jan 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Black Swan (2010)
Portman, two.
Jan 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(8)
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
Slow descent into cadness.
Jan 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Year Of The Mouse, The (1965)
Fishing line pranks Tom.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Unshrinkable Jerry Mouse, The (1964)
Jerry befriends threatening kitty.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Self Portrait (2005)
Portrait loss, oddness abounds.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Out Of This World (1954)
Thomases trek through Tibet.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Nowhere To Run (1993)
Gillen battles nasty developers.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Killer X (1999)
David Carradine, Monster Hunter.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
I Was A Creature From Outer Space (2007)
Impressionable tech releases creature.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Green (1998)
Acid turns Phoenicians Green.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Puzzle (1974)
Willie's song: 'Stay', animated.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Taxi No. 9 2 11: Nau Do Gyarah (2006)
Cabbie Patekar needs dough.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
The Vanishing Duck (1958)
Vanishing cream vanishes quacker.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
White River Kid, The (1999)
Blind Eva entices Edgar.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Endgame (2009)
Ejiofor helps end apartheid.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Fast Food (1998)
Candy store robbery: sour.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Hostel: Part III (2011)
HosteIII.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Jewish Life In Krak�w (1939)
Jews mill around Cracow.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega (2001)
Prakash's gold-digging plan: flawed.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Money Hai Toh Honey Hai (2008)
Manikchand is messy model.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Blood (2000)
Narc blood proves dangerous.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Compass, The (2009)
Little Red Redux Hood.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Dummy (2008)
Jack, Danny mourn differently.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
As Alegres Comadres (2003)
Fausto hits up pair.
Jan 23, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Season Of The Witch (2011)
Cage plagues witchy woman.
Jan 7, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Three Men And A Baby (1987)
The dad pool.
Jan 6, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Shooting April (2010)
YouTuber's Truman show.
Jan 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Last Days Of April, The (2010)
April is actually insane.
Jan 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
April Showers (1948)
It's about Tyme.
Jan 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
April Showers (2009)
Pedro's discovery costs him.
Jan 3, 2011
Unscored
Vote
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