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kather*ne (137)
247
Bart (137)
248
SmokestackJones (135)
suffers delusions of adequacy
Reviews by 'Bart'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
137
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
10 (1979)
Dudley gets on tits.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Alien� (1992)
Alien fights convict's club.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Arlington Road (1999)
Terrorist intrigues, kills neighbour.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Back To The Future (1985)
Time traveller's oedipal nightmare.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Batman (1989)
Deluded millionaire fights crime.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Big (1988)
Child bypasses puberty.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
Blow (2001)
Cruz in shell-suit.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid (1969)
Outlaws share money, girl.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Daredevil (2003)
Blind lawyer seeks justice.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Deep Red (1975)
'Blowup' remade as horror.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Delicatessen (1991)
French Gilliam, visual feast.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Deliverance (1972)
Businessmen get lost, sodomized.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Demon Seed (1977)
Internet dating gone wrong.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Die Hard (1988)
Barefooted man defeats terrorists.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Ed Wood (1994)
Superior homage to mediocrity.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Ghost (1990)
Swayze explores pottery, afterlife.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai (1999)
Whitaker kicks philosophical ass.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Gone In Sixty Seconds (2000)
Dialogue needs a 'boost'.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Greaser's Palace (1972)
Downey snr: explains everything.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Hannibal Brooks (1969)
Elephants help drunk home.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Hole, The (2001)
Teenagers party underground. Die.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Jean De Florette (1986)
Hunchback tries farming, fails.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Jerk, The (1979)
Idiot earns, loses fortune.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Cage drinks, loves, dies.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Limey, The (1999)
An Englishman in L.A.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Little Nicky (2000)
Proof: Sandler is evil.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Manhattan (1979)
Love story: man, NY.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Marathon Man (1976)
Athlete battles Nazi dentist.
Aug 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
People Vs. Larry Flynt, The (1996)
Woody: in like Flynt.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Knightley has timbers shivered.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pretty Woman (1990)
Millionaire confuses love, sex.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Rocky IV (1985)
Boxer defeats opponent, communism.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Scooby-Doo (2002)
Stoner befriends talking dog.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Sleeper (1973)
Woody vs the robots.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
Whale saves the world.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Superman (1978)
Nerd conceals powers, lycra.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Superman II (1980)
Super-wimp kneels before Zod.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)
Self-mutilator grows drill cock.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
Feminism for 8 year-olds.
Nov 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Timecode (2000)
Four cameras, one take.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971)
Madman tempts, punishes children.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Abyss, The (1989)
Aliens resolve marital differences.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Adaptation. (2002)
Scriptwriter plays with himself.
Nov 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Agent Cody Banks (2003)
Malcolm in a muddle.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Alien (1979)
Ripley battles monster phallus.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Aliens (1986)
Sigourney mistaken for man.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Annie Hall (1977)
Walken's scary walk-on.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997)
'Casino Royale', only funny.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Batman Returns (1992)
Batman fights penguin, emotions.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Blade Runner (1982)
Ford battles robots, conscience.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Charlie's Angels (2000)
Angels kick, shake ass.
Aug 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Angels uphold justice, cleavage.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Commando (1985)
Arnold battles kidnappers, plausibility.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Cube (1997)
Maths saves autistic boy.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Bergman + cock jokes.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Devils, The (1971)
Reed burns, Redgrave masterbates.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Dr. T And The Women (2000)
Gynecologist explores women.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Fly, The (1986)
Scientist attempts insect politics.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Girl, Interrupted (1999)
Imprisoned Winona steals show
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Godfather: Part III, The (1990)
Sofia joins family business.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Haine, La (1995)
Amelie's boyfriend directs masterpiece.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Irr�versible (2002)
Revenge, then rape.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Jaws (1975)
Shark can't kill friendship.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Killer sword, freaky feet.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Lost Highway (1997)
Pullman loses wife, mind.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Luzhin Defence, The (2000)
Turturro 'pawns' over Watson.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Metropolis (2001)
Movie predicts jazz revival.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Logic gets a Lynching.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Performance (1970)
Jagger plays washed-out rocker.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Depp, Rush: Overactors Anonymous.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Rules Of Attraction, The (2002)
Dawson gets role reversal.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Spider-Man (2002)
Museum visit creates super-hero.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
X-Men (2000)
Mutants develop 'sexy' gene.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Air America (1990)
Downey against drug dealing?
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Am�lie (2001)
French Hepburn becomes altruist.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Angel Heart (1987)
Rouke discovers DEEP south.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
Fire doesn't kill Pheonix.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Man loses sled, morals.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Ang refutes gravity law.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Dead Man (1995)
Dead accountant befriends indian.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Dead Ringers (1988)
Gynacologists share client's vagina.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Deer Hunter, The (1978)
Man kills deer, self.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Misfit makes topiary trendy.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Future's bright, future's orange.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Gift, The (2000)
Katie reveals lovely gifts.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, The (1980)
McLaren disappears up ass.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Hulk (2003)
Ang further rejects physics.
Aug 4, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(2)
Hunt For Red October, The (1990)
Name's Bond. Vladamir Bond.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
King Kong (1933)
Manhattan visit ends disastrously.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
MASH (1970)
Military surgeons' cutting satire.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Matrix, The (1999)
Philosophical mobile phone advert.
Aug 6, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Metropolis (1927)
Bi-planes in future. Visionary?
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Mystery Train (1989)
Buscemi clashes with Strummer.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Naked Lunch (1991)
Man talks to typewriters.
Aug 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Nightmare On Elm Street, A (1984)
Depp swallowed by bed.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Pitch Black (2000)
Cast kept in dark.
Oct 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Planet Of The Apes (1968)
NRA spokesman condemns violence?
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Repulsion (1965)
'Home Alone' for adults.
Oct 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975)
Sarandon Currys transvestite's favour.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Suspiria (1977)
'Fame' meets 'The Exorcist'.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
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