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kather*ne (137)
247
Bart (137)
248
SmokestackJones (135)
suffers delusions of adequacy
Reviews by 'Bart'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
137
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Adaptation. (2002)
Scriptwriter plays with himself.
Nov 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Lost Boys, The (1987)
Bill S. Preston, Vampire.
Nov 27, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(20)
Performance (1970)
Jagger plays washed-out rocker.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)
Self-mutilator grows drill cock.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Wonka attempts re-animation.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Demon Seed (1977)
Internet dating gone wrong.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Killer sword, freaky feet.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Aliens (1986)
Sigourney mistaken for man.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Deep Red (1975)
'Blowup' remade as horror.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Young Guns (1988)
'The Mild Bunch'.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(9)
Delicatessen (1991)
French Gilliam, visual feast.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Rocky Horror Picture Show, The (1975)
Sarandon Currys transvestite's favour.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(2)
Singin' In The Rain (1952)
Kelly makes Reynolds wet.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Suspiria (1977)
'Fame' meets 'The Exorcist'.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Top Gun (1986)
Ego cleared for take-off.
Nov 25, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(10)
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
Feminism for 8 year-olds.
Nov 24, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pitch Black (2000)
Cast kept in dark.
Oct 11, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Appartement, L' (1996)
Le Hitchcock.
Oct 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Repulsion (1965)
'Home Alone' for adults.
Oct 5, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Hannibal Brooks (1969)
Elephants help drunk home.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Outland (1981)
'Sci-Fi Noon'.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(6)
Girl, Interrupted (1999)
Imprisoned Winona steals show
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Fly, The (1986)
Scientist attempts insect politics.
Oct 4, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Godfather: Part III, The (1990)
Sofia joins family business.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Vampires (1998)
Carpenter finishes career coffin.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(5)
Air America (1990)
Downey against drug dealing?
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Knight's Tale, A (2001)
Moron ignores hot blacksmith.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(8)
People Vs. Larry Flynt, The (1996)
Woody: in like Flynt.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert, The (1994)
Gay Pearce, Terence Camp.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(11)
Astronaut's Wife, The (1999)
'Rosemary's Alien'.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(4)
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Keanu's accent really sucks.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(4)
Chaplin (1992)
Junkie plays tramp perfectly.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Commando (1985)
Arnold battles kidnappers, plausibility.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Irr�versible (2002)
Revenge, then rape.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Nightmare On Elm Street, A (1984)
Depp swallowed by bed.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Knightley has timbers shivered.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Depp, Rush: Overactors Anonymous.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
Whale saves the world.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Timecode (2000)
Four cameras, one take.
Oct 3, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Bergman + cock jokes.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Future's bright, future's orange.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
American Werewolf In London, An (1981)
Werewolf, corpse watch porn.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Dogma (1999)
God gives stoner boner.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(7)
Rocky IV (1985)
Boxer defeats opponent, communism.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Angel Heart (1987)
Rouke discovers DEEP south.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Big (1988)
Child bypasses puberty.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
Blow (2001)
Cruz in shell-suit.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid (1969)
Outlaws share money, girl.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Groundhog Day (1993)
Comedy withstands repeated viewing.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Jerk, The (1979)
Idiot earns, loses fortune.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Metropolis (2001)
Movie predicts jazz revival.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Am�lie (2001)
French Hepburn becomes altruist.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Metropolis (1927)
Bi-planes in future. Visionary?
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003)
Three arms, no eyes.
Oct 2, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Greaser's Palace (1972)
Downey snr: explains everything.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Mystery Train (1989)
Buscemi clashes with Strummer.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Gone In Sixty Seconds (2000)
Dialogue needs a 'boost'.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Planet Of The Apes (1968)
NRA spokesman condemns violence?
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Gift, The (2000)
Katie reveals lovely gifts.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Cage drinks, loves, dies.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Little Nicky (2000)
Proof: Sandler is evil.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Luzhin Defence, The (2000)
Turturro 'pawns' over Watson.
Sep 26, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Dead Man (1995)
Dead accountant befriends indian.
Sep 17, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Die Hard (1988)
Barefooted man defeats terrorists.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Back To The Future (1985)
Time traveller's oedipal nightmare.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Planet Of The Apes (2001)
Sensitive study of bestiality.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Ed Wood (1994)
Superior homage to mediocrity.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, The (1980)
McLaren disappears up ass.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
Bring It On (2000)
Dunst shakes her pom-poms.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Cube (1997)
Maths saves autistic boy.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998)
Men take vacation, drugs.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(4)
Y Tu Mam� Tambi�n (2001)
'American Paella'.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(12)
Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai (1999)
Whitaker kicks philosophical ass.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
Superman (1978)
Nerd conceals powers, lycra.
Aug 9, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Alien� (1992)
Alien fights convict's club.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997)
'Casino Royale', only funny.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
American Pie (1999)
Virgin beds experimental flutist.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(3)
Deer Hunter, The (1978)
Man kills deer, self.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(2)
Muppets From Space (1999)
Piggy tries Gonzo journalism.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(5)
10 (1979)
Dudley gets on tits.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Annie Hall (1977)
Walken's scary walk-on.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Dead Ringers (1988)
Gynacologists share client's vagina.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Memento (2000)
.elbattegrofnU
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(18)
Scooby-Doo (2002)
Stoner befriends talking dog.
Aug 8, 2003
Scored 1/5
Vote
Hole, The (2001)
Teenagers party underground. Die.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Blade Runner (1982)
Ford battles robots, conscience.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
Fire doesn't kill Pheonix.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(2)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Angels uphold justice, cleavage.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Saffron's underwear: Great. White.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Deliverance (1972)
Businessmen get lost, sodomized.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Ghost (1990)
Swayze explores pottery, afterlife.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
Limey, The (1999)
An Englishman in L.A.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Piano, The (1993)
Keitel's pianist exposed.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 3/5
Vote
(5)
Two Girls And A Guy (1997)
Heather Graham goes Downey.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
(4)
Hunt For Red October, The (1990)
Name's Bond. Vladamir Bond.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 2/5
Vote
(2)
American Psycho (2000)
Genesis fan: obviously psychotic.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(5)
Haine, La (1995)
Amelie's boyfriend directs masterpiece.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Arlington Road (1999)
Terrorist intrigues, kills neighbour.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 4/5
Vote
Barbarella (1968)
Fonda shags, saves universe.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(3)
Devils, The (1971)
Reed burns, Redgrave masterbates.
Aug 7, 2003
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
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