Mortensen goes full monty.
Username
Password
Remember Me
Forgotten Login?
30
Alan Smithee (3165)
31
clay (2765)
32
bennyr81 (2423)
Viewer discretion is revised.
Reviews by 'clay'
Current status of
Movie deity
with a total of
2765
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Zorro, The Gay Blade (1981)
Black-clad swordsmanship--homoerotic?!
Oct 25, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zorro, The Gay Blade (1981)
Swish swish stab stab.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zorba The Greek (1964)
Greek. Play. Love.
Aug 22, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Zoolander (2001)
Prissy poseur Projectile-Pouts.
Oct 20, 2008
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zoolander (2001)
Brainless poseur's bunkmates immolated.
Jun 11, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Zoolander (2001)
Mugatu manufactures model muddle.
Jun 1, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zoolander (2001)
One Look. Many names.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zoo (2007)
Horse expands his netherlands.
Oct 25, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zombies On Broadway (1945)
High Kicking detaches legs!!!
Jun 1, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zombies On Broadway (1945)
Roar: Greasepaint. Smell: Performers.
Nov 27, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Zombieland (2009)
Carnivoral carnival; Woody's wood.
Mar 10, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Zombie Vegetarians (2004)
Lifeless. Herbivorous. Sounds logical.
Jan 27, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zombie Strippers! (2008)
Lap Dances are slimy.
Feb 4, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zombie Jesus! (2007)
Crustianity.
Mar 2, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Zombi Holocaust (1980)
Kito's followers' hearty meals.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula (1978)
Canine's canines unintendedly distended.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zodiac Killer, The (1971)
Gemini Cricket--VirGO AWAY!!
Jun 23, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Zodiac (2007)
Killer kills occasionally, equationally.
Nov 13, 2008
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zodiac (2007)
Frisco's code-blooded killer.
Jan 12, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zero Effect (1998)
Objectivity. Observation. Obfuscation. --Autism??!
Jun 4, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Zenobia (1939)
Laurelless Hardy perambulates pachyderm.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zen Of Bobby V, The (2008)
Fate gives Chibans Valentine.
Jan 12, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Zelig (1983)
Woody on Protean diet.
May 12, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Zathura (2005)
Transfinite jaunt; loopy return.
Oct 27, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Zardoz (1974)
Deification through indentation truncation.
Dec 2, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(6)
Your Morning Milk (1947)
Gone, as is Milkman.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Your Mom's A Slut... She Takes It In The Butt! (2006)
Back door deliveries welcome.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Your Highness (2011)
Watch Natalie Archer Eyebrows.
Apr 15, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Young Victoria, The (2009)
Vic slick. Albert canned.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Young Tom Edison (1940)
Little stinker's a tinkerer.
Mar 11, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)
Deducing youth; premed pal.
Aug 1, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Marty, wildeyed; Gene, Wildereyed.
Dec 23, 2008
Unscored
Vote
(12)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
'Freshly Dead': lively Feldman.
May 27, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Eye Gore? No. Igor.
Jan 30, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Hackman soup Boyles nuts.
Feb 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Moley violinist's boyfriend: animator.
May 3, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Young Einstein (1988)
Ennui = moronic comedy squared.
Jun 2, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Young Doctors In Love (1982)
Pre-Viagra medical horndogging.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
You've Got Mail (1998)
Virtual correspondents co-responsive.
Oct 24, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (2010)
Peeping, scheming, plagiarizing Josh.
Mar 11, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(4)
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Bond Kissified, not Blofelded.
Jul 8, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Bondo-san bonds. Much Kissy.
Jun 2, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Bond scubaed, body-bagged.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
You Don't Mess With The Zohan (2008)
Assassin > Hairdresser: easy transition.
Jun 2, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
You Don't Mess With The Zohan (2008)
Specialties: Counterinsurgency, biddy schmoozing.
Jan 12, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
You Don't Know Dick: Courageous Hearts Of Transsexual Men (1996)
Stand tall. Be prod.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Yogi Bear (2010)
Jellystone hijinx no picnic.
Jan 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Yog: Monster From Space (1970)
Aliens attack developers? Hurrah!
Jun 2, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Yentl (1983)
Yeshivite's huge metaphorical huevos.
Jul 9, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Yentl (1983)
Dickless davener delves Talmudically.
Dec 28, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Beatles animated to Max.
Mar 23, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Primarily colourful Beatles transportation.
Jun 8, 2009
Unscored
Vote
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Spot Sea of Green?
Apr 9, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Oblong object carries quartet.
Jun 1, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Beatles' cel-lular phone-in.
Dec 13, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Yearling, The (1946)
Deer to our hearts.
Sep 18, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(11)
Year Without A Santa Claus, The (1974)
Santa Clogged.
Jun 2, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Year Of The Dog (2007)
Peggy's dog plays dead.
Dec 5, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Year Of Living Dangerously, The (1982)
Hunt's Best Actoress role.
Mar 2, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Year Of Living Dangerously, The (1982)
Linda Hunt's homeliness exploited.
Mar 4, 2011
Unscored
Vote
Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
Cagney as songwriting hoofer.
Nov 30, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(3)
XXx (2002)
Diesel be sequelled plenteously.
Jun 29, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Xanadu (1980)
Wheeled songbird. Scatterfoot impresario.
May 16, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Xanadu (1980)
Olivia rolls. Gene coasts.
Oct 24, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X2 (2003)
Jean splicing, Wolvie dicing.
Nov 10, 2008
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X2 (2003)
Graffitoed teleporter joins team.
Jun 23, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
X2 (2003)
Lady Deathstrike proves clunker.
Apr 5, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
X2 (2003)
Jean: sacrificial telekinetic lamb.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
X2 (2003)
Nightcrawling: Down Alan's alley.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X: The Man With The X-Ray Eyes (1963)
Penetrating; in sight full.
Nov 9, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Grey reddens; Beast pinkens.
Feb 19, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(4)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Carrie on, Jean Grey.
Oct 25, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Juggernauting avails jugger naught.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
X-Men: First Class (2011)
X-Men: Old School.
Feb 25, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(5)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Methuselah becomes clawed berserker.
Apr 1, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(1)
X-Men (2000)
Magneto finds Wolverine attractive.
Nov 9, 2008
Unscored
Vote
(11)
X-Men (2000)
Claws. Wind. Eyebeams. Telekinesis.
Jun 8, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X-Men (2000)
Senator vilifying mutants jellified.
Jul 31, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X-Men (2000)
Mutants mutilate Lady Liberty.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
X-Men (2000)
Singer cinematizes sport squad.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
X Files, The (1998)
Mulder ostracized; Scully iced.
Jun 2, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Wyatt Earp (1994)
Brave? Courageous? Bold? Keviny.
Jul 5, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Wuthering Heights (1939)
Emo swain wuthers away.
Aug 20, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Wuthering Heights (1939)
Heaths. Cliffs. Whining Heathcliff.
Jun 5, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Wuthering Heights (1939)
Olivier's moor-livid wail.
Oct 24, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Wuthering Heights (1939)
Olivier, Oberon: Crybaby couple.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Wuthering Heights (1992)
Fiennes fine Original Emo.
Dec 9, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Wrong Turn (2003)
Deliverance of teen-y morsels.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Writer Of O (2004)
O OMG'd.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Wright Brothers, The (1997)
Wright to the Future.
Mar 15, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(5)
Wright Brothers, The (1997)
Kitty Hawk heroes, rising.
Jun 1, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Wright Brothers, The (1997)
Airbound hermanos.
Oct 26, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Wright Brothers, The (1997)
From bikes to aerobatics.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Wrestling Dog, The (1894)
Dog: Half Nelson Terrier.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(3)
Wrestler, The (2008)
Wrestlers: scripted, steroided, stapled.
Jan 28, 2009
Unscored
Vote
(7)
Wrestler, The (2008)
Kissable Marisa. Bricky Mickey.
Jan 2, 2011
Unscored
Vote
(4)
Wreck Of The Mary Deare, The (1959)
Chuck & Gary glubarama.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
Worst Jewish Football Team In The World, The (1999)
Litvak linebackers; Hasidic halfbacks.
Mar 11, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(2)
Worst Jewish Football Team In The World, The (1999)
Penalty kicks in kishkas.
Dec 14, 2010
Unscored
Vote
World's First 300lb. Gang Bang, The (2003)
Whales and harpoontang.
Apr 25, 2010
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Page Range
Zorro, <---> World'
World' <---> Welcom
Weird <---> Unmarr
Unknow <---> Time A
Time A <---> Tank G
Tango <---> Star I
Star I <---> Sinatr
Sinatr <---> Santa,
Santa <---> Ransom
Rango <---> Phanto
Phanta <---> Nude C
Nowher <---> Monste
Monsig <---> Marie
Mariac <---> Lion I
Lincol <---> K-PAX
Justin <---> Inconv
Incept <---> Histor
Histor <---> Goodby
Goodby <---> Four W
Founta <---> Every
Ever A <---> Divorc
Diving <---> Crouch
Crocod <---> Cheerl
Chatte <---> Breakf
Brazil <---> Beneat
Bend I <---> Apocal
Apartm <---> Addict
Addams <---> 'Salem
� Copyright 1999-2024 benj clews... Site comments or suggestions welcomed at
[email protected]
...
<Memorial>
