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				Noah (2014) | 
			 
				
			
			
				| 42 reviews | 
			 
			
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				Film rated 2.3 / 5 
				(Chick rating: 2 / 5) 
				(Guy rating: 2.3 / 5)
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		| Aronofsky attempts Ark-aic account. | 
	 
	
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		| Hopkins old as Methuselah. | 
	 
	
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		| Russell plays biblical ark-itect. | 
	 
	
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		| Master and ark commander. | 
	 
	
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		| Crowe collects paired species. | 
	 
	
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		| Noah's a masterful commander. | 
	 
	
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		| Crowe collates marine menagerie. | 
	 
	
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		| Aronofsky's interpretation all wet. | 
	 
	
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		| Aronofsky's storyline really flows. | 
	 
	
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		| A(ronofsky)R(eally)K(nows) Boat . | 
	 
	
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		| N(ewbie)O(rganizes)A(pocalyptic)H(elp). | 
	 
	
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		| Crowe corrals digitized critters. | 
	 
	
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		| "Armageddon" meets "Dr. Doolittle" | 
	 
	
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		| Epic flood (of controversy). | 
	 
	
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		| Methuselah rufies grandson's tea | 
	 
	
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		| Curiously Godless Biblical epic | 
	 
	
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		| Crowe portrays Biblical ark-etype. | 
	 
	
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		| Follows predictable story ark. | 
	 
	
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