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| Hairy feet, beardy wizard. |
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| Wanted: Fellowship. Suicide mission. |
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| Two wizards breakdancing. |
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| Lots of aimless wandering. |
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| Dwarf-tossing craze begins! |
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| Gotta destroy the bling-bling. |
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| NIne protectors, one ring. |
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| Hobbit fingers mighty ring. |
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| Munchkins follow yellow ring. |
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| Visual; pentultimately weird feet. |
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| Frodo, boyfriend begin epic. |
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| Hobbits. Wizards. Ring. Classic. |
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| Aragorn: The Lonely Ranger. |
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| Ring tempts, death awaits. |
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| Hobbits form Elf-help group. |
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| Foursome's Magical Mystery Tour. |
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| Ring, fling, thing- boring. |
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| 'Xena' without lesbian subtext. |
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| Jackson snubs Tom Bombadil. |
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| Bombadil and depth missing. |
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| Armed conflicts. Hairy Feats. |
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| Evil jewellery attempts takeover. |
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| Formed Fellowship targets Mordor. |
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| Octopus attacks Frodo's group. |
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| Nine heroes, million enemies. |
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| Jackson commences Ring cycle. |
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| Frodo answers ring calling. |
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| Frodo treasuRing destructive adventure. |
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| Gandalf falls, fellowship fucked. |
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| Ring's saviour is Elijah. |
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| Fellowship; look who's Orc-ing. |
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| Agent Smith's hair extended. |
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| Boromir acts as pincushion. |
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| Weaving wouldn't, Wood would. |
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| Bilbo retires to Rivendell. |
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| Ultimate collector's item found. |
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| Balrog drags down wizard. |
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| Child smuggling ring discovered. |
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| Midgets attempt jewellery destruction. |
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| Misfits attempt lengthy quest. |
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| Hobbits pLOT Ring recovery. |
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| Elvish princess impersonates horse. |
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| Frodo whines. Gandalf shines. |
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| Loud creatures, little men. |
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| Gandalf can't fly, fools. |
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| Hobbit-forming ring-sting. |
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| Sauron requires throat lozenge. |
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| Frodo wields light sabre. |
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| Frodo's first fantasytic feets. |
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| Midget safeguards evil bling. |
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| Smeagol acts like junkie. |
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| Samwise slavishly follows Frodo. |
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| Harried hobbits, hot lava. |
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| Jackson begins cashing Tolkien's. |
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| Saruman: Sauron's white-hand man. |
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| Band starts triparted quest. |
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| Tolkien's creatures' token adventure. |
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| Fingering ring's hobbit forming. |
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| Enthralling. Enchanting. Epic. Emotional. |
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| Frodo given Sauron's ring. |
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| Tolkien's masterpiece faithfully delivered. |
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| Bilbo rings in successor. |
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| Isildur swipes, loses Ring. |
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| Arwen? Where's Glorfindel!? |
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| Fantasy classic's masterful adaptation. |
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| McKellen's Gandalf the Gay. |
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| Gandalf, Balrog produce fireworks. |
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