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freewalk (174)
215
Wheeljak (173)
216
gobsmacker (172)
I'm not that guy.
Reviews by 'Wheeljak'
Current status of
Movie guru
with a total of
173
reviews published to date.
Order by
Film Name
Review Votes
Review Score
Chronological Order
Show
All
Aeon Flux (2005)
Bregnans disappeared-- like audience.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
American History X (1998)
Captain Sisko reforms skinhead.
May 9, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
AVP: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
Double-chops vs. dreadlocks.
May 23, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Barbarella (1968)
Villains Fonda gruesome executions.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Battlefield Earth: A Saga Of The Year 3000 (2000)
Barbarians battle big Barbarino.
May 18, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Best In Show (2000)
Superior Canines Taste Victory.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
BloodRayne (2005)
Kristanna burns Meat Loaf.
May 23, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Boomerang (1992)
Witherspoon thoroughly coordinates outfit.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Bound (1996)
Quirky Violet, Violent Corky.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Brewster's Millions (1985)
Train runs through outfield.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Buffalo 66 (1998)
Pee changes ex-con's life.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Catching Trouble (1950)
Cubs scream in terror.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Clerks. (1994)
Man dies attempting autoeroticism.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Conrack (1974)
Conroy teaches the Geechees.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Dead Pool, The (1988)
Carrey's Axl greased.
Jun 8, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Do The Right Thing (1989)
Pizzeria's wall lacks diversity.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Joes versus Cobras.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Dolemite (1975)
Rhyming pimp botches karate.
May 18, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Escape From New York (1981)
Manhattan's scary in 1997.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
F/X2 (1991)
Puppet kicks assassin's ass.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)
Epithet actually uplifting acronym.
May 29, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Friday (1995)
Fired on day off?
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Friday (1995)
Ice Cube gets baked.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Headshot in barracks head.
May 23, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Getaway, The (1994)
Tilly cuckolds dentist husband.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Heartbreak Ridge (1986)
Marines invade tourist locale.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Hustle & Flow (2005)
D-Jay becomes MC.
May 22, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Independence Day (1996)
Earth's saviour: Cousin Eddie.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Karate Kid, Part II, The (1986)
Crane pose fails Daniel.
Aug 2, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Uma sports Lee's tracksuit.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Lean On Me (1989)
Principal Clark don't play!
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Liberty Stands Still (2002)
Playing 'Simon (Phoenix) Says'.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Manos: The Hands Of Fate (1966)
Husband discovers diabolical polygamist.
May 9, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Marksman, The (2005)
'The Marksman' aims low.
May 26, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Matrix Revolutions, The (2003)
Many Smiths, few thrills.
Aug 9, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Meatballs (1979)
Murray inspires shy loser.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Mission To Mars (2000)
Thin atmosphere's deadly whirlwinds??
May 26, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Clark summons pool waitress.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Nephew, The (1998)
Nephew is Black Irish.
Jun 29, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Once Were Warriors (1994)
Drunk dad pulps molester.
May 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
One Night Stand (1997)
Snipes' Jungle Fever relapse.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
One, The (2001)
Li's a serial suicider.
May 23, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Opposite Of Sex, The (1998)
Dede removes DD bra.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Predator (1987)
Monster mutilates multicultural mercenaries.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Predator 2 (1990)
The Head-Bone Collector.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Punisher, The (2004)
Saint sent to Hell.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Stallone reverses Vietnam defeat.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Skinny supermodel overpowers monsters.
Jul 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Sahara (2005)
Goin' back to Mali.
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Series 7: The Contenders (2001)
The Running Mom.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Serpent And The Rainbow, The (1988)
Mokae steals souls, scenes.
Aug 1, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Silent Hill (2006)
Limbo: lousy phone reception.
Aug 21, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Spider-Man (2002)
Spidey smooches MJ topsy-turvy.
May 8, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
Spiderbabe (2003)
Spiderbabe spins webs realistically.
Jun 13, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Still Smokin' (1983)
Stoners discover legal hash.
May 18, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Street Fighter (1994)
Cheating Raul.
May 20, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
Striptease (1996)
Reynolds exits bald closet.
May 12, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Superman (1978)
Crystal is Instant Fortress.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Superman II (1980)
Evil Kryptonians resemble Romulans.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
Leaps shark: single bound.
May 26, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song (1971)
Sweetback runs. A lot.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
The Ladies' Man (2000)
Disgruntled husbands hunt tattoo.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Transformers: The Movie, The (1986)
Bumblebee shocks with profanity.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Undercover Brother (2002)
Richards: ANY man's Kryptonite.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Village Of The Giants (1965)
Goliaths A-Go-Go!
May 22, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Walking Tall (2004)
Stick, Rock break bones.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Weekend At Bernie's (1989)
Rigor mortis immune corpse.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Channelled spirit considered scholar.
May 24, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Quantum Physics? No, METAphysics!
May 25, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
What The #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
Physics discussed by psychics.
May 24, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
Wind (1992)
Grey loses nose, career.
May 22, 2006
Unscored
Vote
Wood, The (1999)
Inglewoodies.
May 22, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
Aeon Flux (2005)
Oren's abhorin' pregnant Bregnans.
Aug 17, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Alien (1979)
Nostromo computer: bad Mother.
May 18, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Ripley cloned. Audience clowned.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Alien� (1992)
Xenomorph infests penitent penitentiary.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Back To The Future (1985)
Fun DMC.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Battlefield Earth: A Saga Of The Year 3000 (2000)
Sci-fi: Scientology Fiasco.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Better Off Dead... (1985)
'Liqueur' explodes Ricky's mom.
May 12, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Boa vs. Python (2004)
Snake, snake, boobs.
May 26, 2006
Scored 1/5
Vote
(1)
Cannonball Run, The (1981)
Martin wears rosary bleeds.
May 9, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Leo's frequent liar miles.
Jun 8, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Crumb (1994)
Crumb doodles, then diddles.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Crumb (1994)
Ode to zaftig women.
May 12, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Escape From L.A. (1996)
Carpenter pissin' on Plissken.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Exorcist, The (1973)
Priest doesn't shun possessions.
May 19, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Fallen (1998)
Mick Jagger possesses people.
May 23, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)
Hats symbolize Black empowerment.
May 27, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Fifth Element, The (1997)
Haute couture saves world.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Five Heartbeats, The (1991)
Frontman yields to 'Temptations'.
May 17, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Luther Campbell takes notes.
May 9, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
Glory (1989)
Black & blue regiment.
May 23, 2006
Scored 5/5
Vote
(1)
Havoc (2005)
Privileged teens play 'gangsta'.
Aug 31, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Heavy Metal (1981)
Animated nudity gratuitously abundant.
May 9, 2006
Scored 2/5
Vote
(1)
Highlander (1986)
Immortality's 'Kind of Magic'.
May 17, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
House Of Wax (2005)
Paris penetrated on film.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Jaws 2 (1978)
Jaws jumps the shark.
May 24, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Shark enjoys eating Peebles.
May 26, 2006
Unscored
Vote
(1)
Karate Kid, The (1984)
Jersey goombah learns 'waxing'.
May 11, 2006
Scored 3/5
Vote
(1)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Cain's kung fu bested.
May 11, 2006
Scored 4/5
Vote
(1)
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