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| Blart segways into trouble. |
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| Diet Hard with Ambivalence. |
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| James' a-Paul-ling stupid comedy. |
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| Security's Segway stupidity. |
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| Paul Blart's mall smarts. |
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| Blart Segways into heroism. |
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| Blart's completely idiotic. |
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| Blart foils mall robbery. |
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| Blart Observes and Reports. |
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| Blart gets Unbeweavably lucky. |
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| James' unfunny fat jokes. |
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| Kevin James's a-Mays-ing rescue. |
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| Blart's insecurity yields security. |
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| Blart loves coffee cripple. |
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